End of Month. End of Week. End of...?

...Patience? Strength? Sanity? Stress? Who knows what the weekend will bring.

In my normal ass-backward way, I managed to dodge a time-eating bullet this evening. I thought my friend's birthday party was tomorrow night, and was trying to figure out how I could get my contribution to the pot luck cooked in time without losing what's left of my mind. I have a gift already--it was the food making me nuts.

Well, another friend just called to ask if I planned to come there for karaoke. I begged off. I'm tired, and thought I had all this preparation to do and then the party tomorrow night. He started laughing. Oh crap. I did it again. It's NEXT weekend. I'm a very relieved idiot.

This also leaves tomorrow night available to go hear another friend's band play at our favorite bar. The kind of place where you can get up and dance by yourself or with other women without anyone thinking its weird. Ya know? That's why it's my favorite bar.

My karaoke buddies work there during the week, so want to go elsewhere on a Saturday. That's okay. I can go by myself. I'm a big girl now.

Sunday morning Steph will (finally) do my hair. I feel shaggy, and the color is tired. I'll come out a new woman, and ready to face the nursing home again on a Sunday afternoon.

Which reminds me: Grandma's laundry isn't going to wash itself.

This isn't the life I planned on--it's the one I got.

Good Girl, Good Day

There are some days when I jump out of bed at the clunk of dawn, ready to take on the world. And then there are days when I crack an eyeball to see if the sun's up yet, and snuggle back down. Sometimes this lasts an hour, sometimes all day. It depends on how urgent the things on my to-do list are.

Today was an "up at dawn" day, but it could turn into the other kind if I don't resist the urge to plant my butt back under the warm pile of comforters.

There is an old lady to visit, and house work to be done. I also have to see if I can patch the thin cord from the Wii to its receiver back together since the damn cat chewed through it. Every wire in my house is now wrapped with duct tape or run through a cable race.

How could I have missed that one?

Time passes...

...fast or slow, on it goes.

So much has happened in the past few years, aside from my ignoring this blog, I mean.

I joined an online weight loss program, and have posted there every day since June 2006. While writing, I've lost about 100 lbs. There are still about 30 left to go, and losing those is proving more difficult than the first 100.


There are so many places to share one's thoughts now. There's the weight loss thing, the dating site journal, facebook, and here. Not enough happens in my life that warrants so much documentation.

Since my last visit, the Offspring have moved out and on...to California. The cats haven't managed to learn cooking or bed making, and playing cards is out of the question.

Skootch settles for chewing through the wires of most things electronic that I really enjoy. Her latest victim is the wire that connects the sensor for the Wii to the system. I don't know if it can be patched back together. If it can, though, I'm the woman to do it. She has provided ample learning opportunities. Damn cat.



Christmas is coming, and it looks like the boys aren't. Family in GA and CO want me to go there, but plane tickets cost money, and air travel these days is just a bitch. The carry-on-or-pay-fifteen-bucks-to-check-your-baggage thing has turned every airplane into a Greyhound bus with wings. I keep expecting to see someone sitting in the back with a chicken under his arm.

Friends have offered to share their homes and celebrations. Holiday orphan or not, that sounds better than sitting crying at the cats while Christmas music plays on the radio. Too pathetic. Really.

Younger son may elect to make the drive, and it would be a joy to spend time with him. Since it isn't a sure thing, there will not be extensive decoration. He says he doesn't care about that stuff anyway. Well, I care about it. I care a lot. It just doesn't make sense to go to all that trouble when there's no one to share it. Add to that the fun of taking it all down and putting it away in January.

Sometimes the empty nest is cozy, quiet and tidy. Sometimes, it just echoes.

Long time...again

Wow, I didn't realize just how long it'd been since I visited here last.

My younger son has graduated from high school (valedictorian, thank you very much!), and has almost completed a summer program at ASU already.

I got sick of being so fat (again!) and am currently doing a balanced weight loss program through Anne Collins' online forums. While I've felt a bit obsessed with the process, I always feel that way when embarking on something new that requires behavior change. All I can say is, I've been at it since June 4th, and I've lost 16 lbs., so something's working.

I've rescued a little kitten that was only about 5 days old when I realized it's mom wasn't coming back for it...right now, a friend's family is fostering it until it can go without food and hands-on care long enough for me to go to work. I so look forward to that day!

Baby's name is Skootch, and we're still not sure if it's male or female.

I'm going to ditch for tonight. Sounds like a t-storm is rumbling in, and I'd just as soon not be typing away when the computer blows up.

Note to self: post to blog more often.

Thanks a Lot...

Thanksgiving recap:

Food: very good, if I do say so myself. Managed to do comparatively low-fat, yet traditional-tasting, dishes. Of course, when you over-consume, there are caloric consequences.

Company: Eh. The friend I had invited and thought would attend backed out at the last minute. It was me and the boys and Beloved. Older son got weird on us, too...right at dinner time. I wanted to throw the mashed potato spoon at his head. But didn't. Yay, me. Stellar self control.

Black Friday Shopping: Ouch! Was at the local Wal-Mart by 5:10 a.m. What a frickin' NIGHTmare! The crowds were like jackals around the only carcass at the water hole. The store employees looked unhappy to be there, and certainly did nothing to improve the atmosphere. Abandoned my cart within 5 minutes and struggled to get out with my dignity, if nothing else. Headed over to the K-Mart, which opened at 6 a.m. People in line were friendly, and the store staff polite and friendly. I guess the lack of spectacular electronics sales could account for part of that. Anyway, I picked up some gift items there in a more enjoyable environment.

After the Big K, it was breakfast at Village Inn, and taking a look at the newspaper. Noticed some items I could use on sale at Fry's Electronics, so headed over there. Pretty crowded, but it seemed the early crush was over by the time I got there (and the 1 gb MP3 players on sale were gone ). Got good buys on a new car stereo and printer, neither of which is installed yet. Ugh.

On my return home, YS and Beloved wanted to go see Harry Potter and the...etc... I'd already seen it earlier in the week, so while they watched the Tri Wizard Tournament, I saw Rent. Homophobes, be warned. You will hate this movie. Anyone else who enjoys well-done musicals will probably enjoy it. Good music, story with joy and pain. Didn't expect it to impact me all that much, but was left sobbing through the final credits. Completely caught me off guard.

Stayed home Friday night, and went to bed early.

More on the rest of the weekend later.